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Saturday, July 28, 2018

Lies and Secrets Parents Tell

You know what I'm talking about.

The little lies that sneak up when you are exhausted, frustrated, and just plain had it with parenting!

The little secrets we keep just to grab a moment or two just for ourselves?

No? Just me? Oh. 

I'm coming clean!

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Ok, maybe not completely clean. A woman has to keep some secrets, right?!

Here they are in all their glory (in no particular order!)

My secrets, lies, and half truths that have saved my sanity at times!

"The __________ is closed today."

Now, I've used this one just recently!

We are at my sister's for the 4th of July fixing to head home just after sunset. Chad was just begging to go to the beach to see the fireworks, which we had done in the past.

Fireworks on the beach in South Mississippi is wonderful, however, you better get there 4 hours ahead of time to grab a parking space! So, without skipping a beat I told him, the beach was closed. Not being too sure if a tantrum was headed our way, I quickly appointed him as "Master Fireworks Director"!

This not only had him busy spotting and pointing out fireworks on the way home, he didn't ask about the beach again!

Other examples:
Disney is closed for the summer, remodeling.

McDonalds isn't open today, their ice cream machine broke. Again.

Toys R Us is closed. Hey! That one is no longer a lie! Points for me!
"It has nuts in it."

You know the drill.

You give your child a candy bar, piece of cake, or whatever and sit down to enjoy your share of this snack, albeit smaller in portion.

Never fails, the child inhales it or licks all the chocolate off, then stares at you until you, grudgingly, give them your piece. Sound familiar?

The solution?

Tell them yours has nuts in it. Or sour cream. Or coffee. Or anything that they won't like. Works like a charm!
"The cats ate our Elf on the Shelf"

Seriously, does this one even need explaining?

Before I start receiving hate mail for killing off a beloved Christmas character, let me just share two important and relevant facts here.

First, who invented this terribly creepy character who spys on kids, flies around at night, and causes mischief around the house?! It wasn't a parent, that's who!

Second, we honored him with a magnificent funeral service, complete with flowers and burial in the backyard.
"I keep my secret candy stash behind the sticks of butter."
Yes, that's right. Don't judge me.
"I've told my kids that they have to pay out of their allowance to use wifi in the living room."

"It's free in their bedrooms."

I get to watch TV in quiet or earn money. Win/Win

"Our TV is actually a two way mirror directly connected to the North Pole."
An elf sits and watches, and if he sees or hears whining he starts recording for Santa to review later.
"I have Santa on speed dial."

"All wrapping paper is made by the North Pole and distributed worldwide."

It's just an amazing coincidence that the gifts from Santa match ours to Aunt Stacy and Mimi.
"Old mean people are that way because when they were kids they refused to eat their veggies."

"When you lie your ears twitch."

After a couple of times, they begin covering their ears when lying!
"The Tooth Fairy pays more for kids who go to the dentist without fussing."

"The Tooth Fairy pays for teeth because they are perfect sized treats for her little fairy puppies."
"I don't swim in the ocean because I used to be a mermaid."

I may need to explain this one a little more.

I'm deathly afraid of swimming in open water. Seriously, have you not seen Jaws?! I don't want them to have the same fear.
"I can see thru walls. Any mother can."
"There's a secret portal in your bedroom to Narnia. It can only be found if your room is clean."
And that's just a few of the secrets and lies I have been known to tell.

Why would I lie to my children?!

One simple little word.


When our children are young their brains are growing and learning so much everyday. Imagination is just another teaching tool. I believe it to be one of the most fun one, too!

To quote Maya Angelo, "If you're always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be!"
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When I started with these little lies, I have to admit, it was to save my sanity.

But with each lie, I have seen that spark of magic...that twinkle in their they begin imagining the impossible.

As they grew older, the fun didn't stop. It grew with them!

They begin adding to my tales creating fantastic stories filled with wonder and merriment!

The TV elf became Henry. And we say hello and good night to him.

The portal to Narnia became a hidden door to Hogwarts, where my daughter ate lunch.

The beach is closed because at night, the mermaids try to jump up to catch falling stars.
As adults, we have to live in the present and plan for the future. We have responsibilities and priorities. We have bills to pay and priorities to set. I get that. Boy, do I get that!

As parents, our biggest priority is to raise our children to become productive and responsible adults. However, don't forget that they are children only but a little while. It goes so fast...too fast.

"It is better to fail in originality, than to succeed in imitation."
Herman Melville
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Feed their imagination. Show them the magic. Let their creativity soar. When they get caught up in a story, their minds are thinking, creating, and growing. This produces the creators and thinkers of tommorow!
So, go ahead. Tell the lie. Make up that fantastic tale.

And see the world of imagination thru your children's eyes!
Have you told any fibs? Share with me your favorite down below in the comments! Don't forget to subscribe!

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Hi, there! My name is Shannon Dewease and I'm so happy you found my blog. I am from beautiful South Mississippi and live here with my family. My life can get a little chaotic, comical, and down right complicated, as you will find out. I can't wait to begin sharing my misadventures with you!

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