Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Top 5 Worst Valentine Gifts from my Sweet Husband



I have been married to my husband for 21 wonderful blissful years! In today's world and statistics, that's quite an accomplishment. Thru those years the holidays have been so magical, memorable, and loving.

Except one...Valentine's Day.
If Barry had an arch nemesis, it would be Saint Valentine. As sweet as he can be for some reason on this one day, he becomes clueless mess.

The first year I figured it was just bad luck.
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The second year I decided he was having a bad day.
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The third year was starting to really disappoint me.
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By the fourth I was googling neurological problems.
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And the fifth year?! I was just pissed!
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I mean, come on! How hard is it for one day a year to buy fresh flowers, a meaningful card, and chocolates?!


I'm not even that hard to please! I will be happy with a bouquet picked from our backyard and a Hershey bar!

To celebrate today's Holiday of Love, I want to share with you my Husband's all time fails at Valentine's Day in countdown order!


#5 
Barry walked in from work one year and the kids ran to show him their "loot" from the schools Valentine's Party. He runs out the door telling me he needs to run to the store. He comes back proudly with.... Wait for it.....

A plastic rose, chapstick, and a heart shaped box of those crappy tasting chocolates (you know the one, only has four pieces and can fit in your pocket?!) Total spent $4. I know this because he gave it to me in the dollar store bag with receipt stuck to that damn box of chocolates.


#4
I almost thought the bad streak was over with this one. I came in and sitting in my chair is a little wrapped box with a beautiful bow. I eagerly opened it and it was a lovely necklace. After I hugged him I put it on and asked "How does it look?"

Here's how the conversation went immediately after.

Barry
"I need a closer look, I haven't seen what she picked out yet".

Me
"SHE?! Who she, might I ask"?

Barry
(digging hole deeper)
"My sister. I asked her to pick something up for you".

Me
(handing him the shovel so he can dig faster)
"And why couldn't you go and pick out something yourself?"

Barry
(now standing in the 4 ft hole and still digging himself deeper)
"Well, she was going to the dollar store. It saved me a trip. By the way, we owe her $5 plus gas".

** Sidenote** At least it was a step up from the $4 spent the year before!

#3
This is the year he realized he better up his Valentine's game. He went and shopped, and not at the dollar store, mind you! He carefully chose the perfect gift to give to me expressing how much love we shared thru the years. And he was so excited about it, too, bless his heart. The gift was a brand spanking new deluxe model... vacuum cleaner. Yep. You got it!

I told him "You suck"!


#2
This one almost didn't make the top 5 fails! However, due to a series of mishaps (and some bad planning) it sneaked right on up to #2!

Barry was at work that day and it was a Monday, his long hours day. That morning he had purchased a gorgeous, really big, heart shaped box of fine chocolates! He finally got it right! (Well, if he did it wouldn't hit the fail list, right?)

He left it in the car, locked up so that there was no chance of anyone stealing his perfectly thought out, expensive, divine box of chocolates.

Folks, we live in South Mississippi. The weather can be a bit iffy here even on a good day. It's Winter, there could be snow or cold weather.

But, unfortunately for Barry that was not the case that year. The high was 85 degrees, which was reached by 10 in the morning, and a gorgeous sunshiny day. Not a cloud in the sky!

Barry worked a 12 hour shift that day and came home to present to me my gorgeous, big box of chocolate soup. With a side of those little paper wrappers. Ugh.


#1
This is it!
My husband's number one top all time winner for Valentine's gifts!

Nothing. Just nothing. Yep, after all those years of bad choices, poor timing, and unfortunate events, he gave up.

And I'm so thankful that he did! It was getting to where i suffered a migraine every February 15th!

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Now, we take the effort to express our love for each other on this special day, and pour it on our kids!

Besides, they happen to love those goofy cards and those little four piece heart shaped boxes of damn chocolates!

Happy Valentine's Day from My Family to Yours
(may your chocolate not melt and the gift not suck!)


Want to read more about my sweet husband and the trouble he can get himself into?!

Check out my post Inside Campout Party and find out what 4 little words he said that had a ripple effect for years to come!


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Hi, there! My name is Shannon Dewease and I'm so happy you found my blog. I am from beautiful South Mississippi and live here with my family. My life can get a little chaotic, comical, and down right complicated, as you will find out. I can't wait to begin sharing my misadventures with you!

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